8 Tips to Remember WhenYou’re at Your Lowest

And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But

one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.” ~Haruki Marukami

1. Your suffering is not your fault.

It is impossible to minimize or reframe your deep loss. When

the pain comes in waves, all you can do is listen to yourself,

love yourself, and trust that it will pass. Try not to hold yourself

responsible for these unpleasant emotions. They are a healthy

response to real tragedies. You didn't need to get better because

there was nothing you could have done to stop this.

2. There is no shame in being unwell.

Although you have been hurt, you are not broken. You

are whole and fully yourself. Healing won't require any effort on

your part; it will take place naturally. It's acceptable to request

assistance. This is a necessary step in the process of regaining

autonomy. You won't always feel helpless. Recall how strong

you have grown and how much you have already healed.

3. It’s okay to find sources of distraction.

It is acceptable for you to feel joy; it does not imply that you

have forgotten your losses. Setting priorities for yourself and

attending to your most basic needs and wants is acceptable.

You have put in a great deal of effort to look after other people,

plan for the future, and act morally. This is the moment, if

ever there was one, to let go of obligations.

4. You do not have to be brave.

It's okay to feel helpless and terrified, furious and bitter, or

small-minded and self-indulgent. You can be who you are

right now, whatever that may be. It is enough to simply make

it through the day, to feed yourself or ask for time off work

(please ask for time off work!) It's acceptable to embrace

your shadow sides and to be contradictory and complex.

5. There is nothing wrong with being alone.

It takes a lot of energy to pretend everything is OK in front of people,

but it also takes bravery to talk about your troubles. You might be let

down by certain folks. While most people are ill-equipped to deal with

sorrow, everyone has something special to offer. While some will hold

your hand or serve as a distraction, others will reassure you that you

are not alone. These are presents that you can find at your own pace.

6. You don’t need to be rational, and you don’t need to

have faith either.

However, you can gradually approach all comforts, from a hot

chocolate cup or a nap in the afternoon to the ethereal consolation of

dreams. You can see loved ones cradling you in their arms or spirits

tending to you in your hour of need. Imagine travelling to a stunning

location. Remain open to mysterious and everyday sources of joy.

7. You will discover gifts that you never knew existed.

Your capacity for self-advocacy can transform overwhelm and

tiredness into relaxation and rest. Your ability to be grateful

might serve as a reminder of all the positive aspects of your

life and body. Your sense of humour can reveal absurdity in

even the darkest moments. By using these resources, you'll

be more equipped to handle adversity down the road.

8. Every end is a new beginning.

New hopes will emerge where old ones have ended. Embrace

a hope that inspires eager expectation rather than one that is

conditional on a particular result. The script of your life is unwritten

and filled with potential. Although the unknown can be frightening,

magic and mystery can also be found there. Keep your mind

open to novel experiences and the prospect of a glorious future.